When we speak for our kids, we rob them of their power and block them from developing self-confidence and the potential to thrive. Parenting expert and best-selling author Michele Borba, Ed.D., shares tips to help you empower your daughter to speak up starting today. Dr. Borba is the author of Thrivers: The Surprising Reasons Why Some Kids Struggle and Others Shine. Eight Ways to Help Your Daughter Find Her Voice As parents, we often jump in and speak for our children. We do this because we mean well and want to protect them. Dr. Borba says this doesn’t do kids any favors. In fact, it could be holding them back. “Parents think they’re doing the right thing by sweeping in and taking charge, but in truth, we are robbing them by rescuing them,” she says. “Each time we helicopter, solve their problems, and speak up in their place, we take away some of our children’s power to figure things out on their own. We’re doing this in part to calm our own nervousness and worries about wanting them to succeed, but in the end it prevents our children from gaining confidence and learning to stand up for themselves.” Tips to Help Your Kids Start Speaking Up 1) Start noticing when you’re doing all the talking. Yes, you may mean well, but this prevents your child from thinking for herself. You may be even more likely to “rescue” your child if he or she is shy. “When kids are quiet, shy, or appear to be stymied, …

Fashion freedom is the opportunity to let your girl experiment with the kinds of clothes she wants to wear. Developing one’s fashion sense allows women to be comfortable and confident in presenting themselves to the world. I stand by the idea that a woman’s closet is one of her greatest treasures. Looking and feeling good in what you wear can change the way you go about your day. I know there have been times when I was completely uncomfortable with what I was wearing, which led to low self-esteem. By allowing your daughter to experiment and invest in her closet, you can nurture her self-esteem, confidence, and moods. However, starting this new journey with her might be intimidating, which is why the following points offer ways you can enable your daughter’s fashion freedom and encourage her to shop thoughtfully. Developing Sense of Style One of the great things about fashion freedom is watching your girl develop her sense of style; even if it completely changes and shifts throughout her life, she will have the confidence to express herself fully. And the best way for her to develop a style is to explore. For older girls, create a Pinterest board and add pictures of outfits or pieces that she likes. Another helpful social media tool for creating a style inspiration mood board is Instagram (make sure you remind your girl about how advertising works and talk with her about healthy body image). Allow her to follow fashion gurus/influencers to find her sense of style. She can …

How comfortable are you talking about money? Knowing and working on your own money mindset is step one. Beyond that, some thoughtful preparation can go a long way towards facilitating conversations where you feel calm and confident, and your daughter feels safe and interested. Start small and stay consistent. The basics taught in a fun, approachable, and real-life way will make it that much easier to get your message across. Here are ten ways to discuss money with your daughter. Ten Ways To Discuss Money With Your Daughter 1) Why Before each conversation, get clear on why you want to talk to your daughter. Knowing why helps you see if you’re bringing too much too soon to the conversation and allows space to clarify your approach. Money talks are not one-and-done conversations. Rather than sharing your experience, the family’s money history, and your desires for her financial future all at once, find one why per conversation and stick to it. Then, once you’re clear, use your one why as the starting point for your talk so your daughter knows what to expect. 2) Frame Money in Family Values An easy entry point for money chats is to include the topic in your family values. For example, if you share the importance of honesty and authenticity, then it becomes natural to talk openly about money and interact with it as a family. One way to start practicing this is by playing Monopoly. Take a few minutes after the game to discuss how you felt about certain …

With children out of school, summertime can be highly challenging for American households. And after a year-plus of children sitting at home more, physically distancing, and Zoom learning, parents are looking for ideas on how to keep their kiddos entertained but at the same time having them be unplugged. Michele Borba, Ed.D., has put together the following list of summertime activities for children. They are free or low-cost and backed by science to boost resilience and reduce stress. Dr. Borba is the author of Thrivers: The Surprising Reasons Why Some Kids Struggle and Others Shine. Unplugged Summertime Activities for Young Kids 1) Embrace Old-Fashioned Play It is easy to dismiss toys, cardboard boxes, dress-up games, and dolls as “light-weight,” but play is precisely what the pandemic generation needs. Play is one of the most often overlooked resilience-builders because it encourages kids to use their imaginations. It also enhances brain development, social-emotional skills and promotes executive functions—which helps kids pursue goals, ignore distractions, and reduce stress. 2) Set Up a Stress Box If left unchecked, stress can affect children’s learning potential, friendships, physical health, emotional well-being and can reduce their ability to thrive. “There is no right or wrong way to reduce stress,” says Dr. Borba. “The key is to offer kids options so they can find what works best for them.” Families can create a Stress Box by filling a shoebox or other container with proven stress reducers such as: A notepad and pencil (to draw or write their stress away) A small Koosh ball …

Have you ever noticed how the many answers to “what do you want to be when you grow up?” all tend to be roles that fall under the category of “employee.” So, other than it not being the easiest word to say, it’s worth questioning why “When I grow up, I want to be an entrepreneur!” isn’t a more common answer. If you believe entrepreneurs are born, it’s in your interest to look out for and foster the innate visionary and leadership talents in your daughter. But, on the other hand, if you think entrepreneurs are made, then all the more reason to teach her the skills required to powerfully run her own show. Here are ideas on how to help your girl entrepreneur unlock her powers. Entrepreneurship Redefined “The act of setting up a business and taking financial risks in the hope of profit.” This dictionary definition of an entrepreneur is unenticing. It also doesn’t consider the potential for freedom, purpose, and self-agency in a world of imbalanced and oppressive systems. As a reframe, speak to any entrepreneur of their experience. They will likely tell you of intense trials, the friends and foes they’ve met along the way, and having to face their inner turmoil every single day. If you know anything about the archetypal heroine’s journey, you may be beginning to see how entrepreneurship is just that. It’s a path that will force you to work through every fear and doubt your mind possesses. It’s an external business but a profound inner journey. …

For Mental Health Awareness Month, GirlUp hosted a crucial Girl Talk conference. The online event focused on the importance of mental wellness while also sharing resources. Its overall goal was to tear down social stigmas surrounding mental illnesses and showcase ways everyone can openly discuss mental health care. Born This Way Foundation  The first speaker was Cynthia Germanotta. Her last name may sound familiar to you; she is the mother of pop icon Lady Gaga who has been very transparent about her mental health struggles. Together this mother and daughter team created the Born This Way Foundation, a non-profit centered around mental wellness for young people. They provide a community for those needing assistance and share preventative measures for various mental health challenges. The foundation’s website is full of resources, like self-care tips, different support numbers to call in a crisis, crisis text lines, body image hotlines, therapy, bullying, and much more. Cynthia pointed out the miscorrelation between mental health and overall health. When most people hear health, they mainly think of physical fitness. While your physical wellbeing is important, immediately jumping to that assumption causes us, as a society, to neglect the mental and emotional. Once we allow people to have these conversations about mental health, they will feel more fulfilled in life. In most cases, overlooking mental health can manifest in other areas, like performance at work/school, relationships, and even how the body reacts to stress. Open and Honest Mental Health Discussion GirlUp then introduced two of their teen advisors, Angela and Mwansa. …

Your internal relationship with money (your beliefs, emotions, and imaginings around it) forms your general attitude towards it. Even if you’ve never spoken a word to your daughter about finances, she’s still likely to adapt your money mindset, positive or negative. Her learning would be based on observing how you handle your money when paying for things, how you behave when you’re making your money, and how you react when people give you money. Maybe you’re thinking, “Impossible, there’s not much to see here.” Perhaps there are no wild gestures, but your child notices if you wince or sigh at your grocery bill or if your body and voice tense when she asks for rollerblades. We mistakenly think we’re protecting our children by keeping our financial lives (whether in good tack or not) to ourselves. The trouble with this thinking is that you’re not hiding it as well as you hope. And the lack of clear information and open communication harms your daughter’s exploration and understanding of her relationship to money. A more empowering approach (for everyone involved) is to talk about money like a neutral, objective force. To do this requires that we first understand and heal our relationship to money. Start with self-inquiry around what beliefs underlie daily financial mindset. Once we know why we find money stressful, scary, or taboo, we can reframe our past experiences. Then, we can opt to build new foundations based on a more inclusive understanding of what it is to live an abundant, wealthy life. Money Mindsets …

Since 2008, more than 80 percent of U.S. school districts have cut art program funds, and 17 percent of U.S. elementary schools no longer offer art as a subject. Instead of being seen as necessary and complementary to math, reading, and science, the arts are framed as nice-to-have but non-essential electives. Abandoning the arts is extremely short-sighted. It highlights an outdated perception, a gap in knowledge, and an insufficient understanding of how the arts help students succeed in school and long after. Although some educators realize creativity can enhance other subjects, many school administrations have been slow to catch up. Without parents’ efforts, a child might very well have little or no access to the nurturing, resource-giving, and therapeutic powers the arts provide. Below we explore the ways you can use art at home to help your daughter thrive. But first, Take the Pressure Off Yourself Know that you don’t have to be an artist with skills of any kind to give your child access to the arts. You’ll know what kind of art your child connects with by how immersed they become in their painting, poem, dance, song, or performance. Break your mental models. Art includes the above activities but is not limited to them. Art is the act of creation. Any form of making, visible or not, trendy or not, is art. Art is exploration. Engaging in art with your daughter will require the suspension of your role as an adult. In other words, this should be fun. There are no goals, grades, …

We know how crucial it is that our children to learn to nurture their friendships. With that in mind, we need to set an example by also tending to friendships close to our hearts. That is why life balance coach and speaker Renée Trudeau has shared the following guest post with Girls That Create. Nurturing Your Friendships and Why You Should The other night I spent an evening with a dear friend who is my soft place to fall. She encourages me to show up messy, tender, and fully myself. She sees my creativity and generosity AND my tendency to be controlling and too goal-oriented—all of me. Everywhere I go lately, women talk about friendships and their desire for greater intimacy and authenticity with their girlfriends. They’re sharing that they are letting some friendships go and deepening others. They’re getting clearer on what they need from relationships-—particularly during these turbulent times. They see first-hand what a huge impact real, heartfelt connection with friends has on their quality of life, mental health, and overall well-being. Come as We Are A well-known UCLA study on female friendships found that these key relationships help reduce stress, extend our lifespan, and reduce the likelihood of physical problems upon aging. The study discovered that women have a natural reaction to seek out their friends in times of stress (they called this “tend and befriend”), which helps them physically and emotionally return to home base. But friendships need cultivating, tending to, and a willingness to “come as we are” (not just …

Trinity Scott is a wife and mother of four children, ages seven, ten, 12, and 15. She graduated from San Diego State University with a Bachelor of Science in business administration/accounting. When her family budget got too tight, she started her business, T3 Bookkeeping. Scott graciously wrote this post for Girls That Create as part of our series Talking With Girls About Finances. Ten Things Every Girl Needs to Know About Budgeting What exactly is a budget? Can your daughter answer that question? The word budget has become a concept dreaded by many since it often involves concepts such as self-discipline and delayed gratification. While these are important approaches to learn and apply, a better mindset is thinking of a budget as a roadmap to achieving life goals. Your girl should not be focused on what she cannot do but on what she can accomplish with resources. And teaching her how to plan carefully to use those resources will help her garner more. Become Accustomed The sooner your daughter becomes accustomed to using a budget, the easier it is for her to live within a budget and meet her goals. Human nature is such that personal spending will always grow to meet income no matter how much money one makes unless there’s a plan. A planned budget can lead to avoiding credit card debt and car payments and allowing for long-term investing earlier in life. Teach your girl to start with a budget instead of creating one after making poor decisions. Prioritize Items Explain prioritizing …