Across the garden, on the other side of my neighborly wall, I can hear a young girl playing. There’s a lot of emphatic counting down, the odd shriek and wild splashing, despite the chilly and overcast weather. Would you believe me if I told you she’s currently undertaking multiple, self-induced practical learning experiences that involves leadership, imagination, resilience, problem-solving, debate, and self-advocacy? I can prove it with one quote: “Hey, boys! I’m going to go first this time. You follow me but be quick, the dragon is coming! Okay… 5,4,3,2,1.” Splash. Silence. Thud. “Ouch! My knee. But I’m good… Okay, Jesse also wants to play with us so we need a new game. Mom! Moooom, I’m cold now. I need a towel.” Compare this scenario to three kids lined up silently at swimming school, diving in when the teacher commands and getting out when the whistle blows. “One of the biggest problems with play is that adults tend to hijack it and tend to try and control play. Children are really the best judge of their own play.” – Irene Gunning, CEO, Early Childhood Ireland There are a few reasons for this: Contemporary society and schooling are running a performance-based agenda that’s leading parents to believe that rather than have two children under five playing around the house, they should be grooming tiny adults. Grown-ups are painfully adept at linear, time-based, goal-orientated tasks based firmly in reality. We’re practical. We want to efficiently nurture our five-year-old straight into that Harvard AI program, if it’s the …

A favorite celebration for many, Random Acts of Kindness Day (Feb. 17) has many practices we can act on throughout the year. It also offers an opportunity to consider what exactly it means to be kind. We can all build our kindness muscles and the benefits of doing so includes improving overall wellness and solidifying important relationships. What It Means To Be Kind We, as humans, thrive on compassion. In fact, it’s been argued that kindness is one of the most vital pillars of humanity. Everyone deserves a little empathy because the ebbs and flows of life are hard. Showing strangers and people within our inner circle kindness builds new relationships and lets loved ones know they’re special. It’s also a two-way street. Being kind to others encourages them to be kind to you, which can boost your mood and long-term health. Jane Goodall once said, “The greatest danger to our future is apathy.” Maya Angelou stated, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” Think about these powerful words. Goodall’s suggests the moment we stop showing concern towards others, our society is at risk of falling apart. Angelou points out a time will come when we’re no longer around. People will only have their memories of us. Accomplishing accolades and generating wealth are popular life goals, but are those all you want to be known for? What about being remembered as kind? Our lives must consist of …

Conjure up an image of a powerful leader. Who do you see? Is it a man? Probably. Was that intentional? Doubt it. Significant? Of course. As female leadership maven, Susan R. Madsen explains in her Raising Girls To Become Leaders TEDTalk, when people are asked to draw an image of a leader, the default is almost-aways to draw a man. Now, much like eating a salad doesn’t make you a vegetarian, being male doesn’t make you a leader. Yet, as Madsen points out, by ingrained societal default, leadership is still considered a masculine trait. It’s 2021 and we’re still weird about women and power and powerful women. Normalizing and encouraging leadership traits, actions and dreams in young girls is how we shift this misperception. When girls are raised with inherent knowledge that they can lead, they don’t go around looking for evidence and permission to do so. Rather, they naturally embody the leader archetype, and the world reflects this back to them. Society still differentiates between “engineers” and “female engineers”. Wanting your daughter to be chosen, or hoping she’s granted permission to lead is like rewatching Titanic and willing the boat to not sink. Being an active participant in molding her identity into that of a leader can be life-changing. We don’t shift our personal generational narratives about women and girls by waiting for someone else to do it. Rather, it’s through our intentional daily actions and conversations that we raise our girls into leaders. Here are four easy, research-backed actions you can adopt to …

Renée Trudeau is the award-winning author of Nurturing the Soul of Your Family and The Mother’s Guide to Self-Renewal. A sought after life balance coach/speaker, her work has appeared in The New York Times, Good Housekeeping, US News & World Report, Spirituality & Health and more. Trudeau graciously agreed to share the following guest post with Girls That Create. As we begin a new year and set resolutions, Trudeau wants you to remember self-care is not about improving yourself.  Self-Care is Not About Improving Yourself One Sunday morning I was lying in bed reading from author Anne Lamott’s beautiful little book Small Victories. In one of her stories about parenting, she shares with a little self-deprecation, but mostly tenderness, how she doesn’t bake for PTA fund raisers, is often disorganized and sometimes forgets to follow-through on updates from her son’s school. Her ability to accept who she is is both endearing and freeing. Her story got me thinking how so many people I meet have a misguided sense about the concept of self-care. I often hear a lot of “shoulds,” and many confess they downright suck at self-care. A a life balance coach/teacher, I have studied, explored, written books about and taught self-care to men and women globally for more than 20 years. I can wholeheartedly share that self-care–a practice that has changed my life more than any other– is NOT about: fixing yourself or turning yourself into a “makeover version” of you trying to become someone who “has it all together” or who’s always …

2020 has had us all on an emotional roller coaster, kids included. Many children have experienced feelings of sadness, loneliness, fearfulness, anxiousness, and disappointment. Chicago-based writer Fern Schumer Chapman shared the following guest post on why books are an ideal tool to help children identify and express their feelings. Chapman recently wrote Happy Harper Thursdays, a picture book that explains to young kids why we can’t be with the people we love during COVID-19. Give Children Books This Holiday to Help Them Understand Their Confusing Emotions Many children have wrestled with powerful emotions this past year, as they have had to adjust to the pandemic’s required changes at school, at home, and with friends. Many young people are sad, lonely, fearful, anxious, and disappointed, and they don’t understand their own feelings. Now, the pandemic will disrupt upcoming holiday gatherings and traditions as extended families won’t be able to celebrate together. These disruptions are likely to intensify a child’s feelings of confusion and loss. Books, always a wonderful holiday gift, may be even more appreciated this year; books can be an ideal tool to help young children identify and express their feelings. Picture books are especially engaging and helpful for young readers; the images and words work together to evoke powerful emotions. For children, reading is like role playing, where they can see the world through someone else’s eyes. Through reading, young people gain new perspectives, and learn, for example, how to negotiate friendships and handle conflicts on the playground. In addition, books build empathy in children. The …

Shannon Brescher Shea is passionate about telling stories that bring together parenting, sustainability, and social justice. Shea has been participating in some form of environmental activism since the age of ten. A mother of two young boys, she recently released the environmental parenting book Growing Sustainable Together. It has tips, tools, advice and activities for raising eco-friendly kids while nurturing compassion, resilience and community engagement. Shea spoke with Girls That Create by phone about her book and why inspiration struck to write it. Her writing can also be found on the blog We’ll Eat You Up – We Love You So.  Q&A With Shannon Brescher Shea What inspired you to write Growing Sustainable Together?  I’ve wanted to be a writer ever since I was a kid. I started reading at a young age and have just always been enamored with books. I really loved Bill Bryson’s A Walk in the Woods and how he combined personal experiences, historical research, and scientific aspects. My day job is working as a science writer for the federal government. I’d always known I wanted to write a book but had no idea what it would be about. That changed with having kids and me constantly feeling a combination of green guilt and mom guilt. After talking with other environmentally conscious moms, I came to realize green living and great parenting can actually go hand in hand. What I loved most about writing this book is that it gave me an opportunity to combine all the things I am passionate about. When …

Renée Trudeau is the award-winning author of Nurturing the Soul of Your Family and The Mother’s Guide to Self-Renewal. A sought after life balance coach/speaker, her work has appeared in The New York Times, Good Housekeeping, US News & World Report, Spirituality & Health and more. Trudeau graciously agreed to share the following guest post with Girls That Create. In these uncertain times, cultivating an attitude of gratitude is a powerful action that can greatly benefit our emotional well-being. Want to Feel Good? Cultivate an Attitude of Gratitude Growing up, our overachiever family placed a high value on competency. Often that translated into a critical mindset toward self and others, where we frequently saw the bad before the good. This way of being, like all patterns, became habitual for many of my siblings. And as my father’s daughter and a champion of “let’s make it the best,” it’s a tendency I’ve been unraveling for years. When you walk into a room and see your child working on a science project, greet your partner at the end of the day after a big presentation, or receive an email update about a work project, do you see what’s going “right” or immediately look for what’s going “wrong?” Cultivating a gratitude practice has helped me to shift my perspective and see the gifts in any situation–even those that look horribly astray. An attitude of gratitude doesn’t come naturally to us. It was something I had to learn, to bring my attention and focus to, and to practice, practice, practice. I chose to …

As a child, author Dana Love was lovingly taught by her mother how to color pages in her coloring books. She was shown how to stay within the lines, color in the same direction, and allow her imagination to run wild and have fun. This skill would serve the author well through her life’s journey. Love has endured many harsh challenges, including childhood abuse and domestic violence. In honor of Domestic Violence Awareness Month (DVAM), she contributed the following guest post on how coloring helps her cope. She is also author of the coloring book Beauty for Ashes and shares sample pages below.  Believe It or Not, Coloring is Therapeutic! When I felt no one could understand what I was going through, and I felt alone during the difficult times in my life, coloring helped me to cope and to heal. I’ve experienced childhood sexual abuse and domestic violence. I’ve had to have surgery to repair my brokenness. I endured the loss of my father to suicide, job loss, and experienced sexual harassment on the job. I did not enjoy any of this, nor did I ask for any of these things to happen to me. My experiences span the timeframe from a child to an adult and so the fact that I can relate on both levels is a blessing because while I may never have an answer for why I endured mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical abuse, I did overcome. Now, I am passionate about helping both adults and children to overcome their difficult times …

“If you could see yourself the way I see you.” I often think about this saying when witnessing girls being way too hard on themselves and doubting their value. How can we help girls see their strengths? That is the question I sent to Career Coach and Dream Strategist Kyla Martin. For the past 25 years, Martin has guided new college grads, entrepreneurs, full-time moms, individual contributors, managers and executives at Fortune 500 companies to maximize strengths and pursue passion. Often called the “Purpose Whisperer,” her strength is helping women uncover and apply their purpose in life, including overcoming limitations and creating an actionable roadmap to live the life they always imagined. She graciously wrote the following post for Girls That Create.  How to Help Your Girl See Her Strengths I remember vividly when my niece was about 2 years and she began (what we referred to as) “quiet” temper tantrums. She would lay face down on the floor in the middle of the kitchen, and not respond to anyone or anything until she processed her feelings. At age 5, she began experimenting with fashion. Her very colorful, mismatched choices reflected her quiet determination to express herself. My sister gently offered other options, but she would simply look away – resolute in her choice. As she approached her 9th birthday, she wrote in a school paper that she could “feel” her friend’s feelings. As a coach, I was fascinated that she knew this about herself – and had a language for it. She clearly was quietly observing. Today, …

How do we help our kids who fear failure? It’s a question many parents grapple with as they watch their youngsters grow up and try new things. Luckily, Dr. Michele Borba has written this guest post on how we can help girls overcome life’s early stumbles. Dr. Borba is a globally-recognized educational psychologist and parenting, bullying and character expert whose aim is to strengthen children’s empathy and resilience, and break the cycle of youth violence. She has delivered keynotes and workshops to over 1,000,000 participants and authored 24 books translated into 14 languages. Helping Kids Who Fear Failure One of the inevitable facts of life is that everyone makes mistakes. Granted, some mistakes are more significant than others and harder to get over, but they are a part of life. How individuals deal with those mistakes is significant to their self-esteem. Children with high self-esteem appear much better at coping with their errors. Watching children with positive self-perceptions deal with an error is always a magnificent sight. These children literally stand up, brush off their knees, and say, “Well, I blew it. What should I do differently next time?” They recognize that a mistake was made and admit the error. Most importantly, these children also develop a strategy to change the mistake and not do the same thing again. What they do, in reality, is leam from their errors. The process of making and learning from mistakes is an extremely valuable life skill because learning involves risking. Every time children risk, they will not always …