“If you could see yourself the way I see you.” I often think about this saying when witnessing girls being way too hard on themselves and doubting their value. How can we help girls see their strengths? That is the question I sent to Career Coach and Dream Strategist Kyla Martin. For the past 25 years, Martin has guided new college grads, entrepreneurs, full-time moms, individual contributors, managers and executives at Fortune 500 companies to maximize strengths and pursue passion. Often called the “Purpose Whisperer,” her strength is helping women uncover and apply their purpose in life, including overcoming limitations and creating an actionable roadmap to live the life they always imagined. She graciously wrote the following post for Girls That Create.  How to Help Your Girl See Her Strengths I remember vividly when my niece was about 2 years and she began (what we referred to as) “quiet” temper tantrums. She would lay face down on the floor in the middle of the kitchen, and not respond to anyone or anything until she processed her feelings. At age 5, she began experimenting with fashion. Her very colorful, mismatched choices reflected her quiet determination to express herself. My sister gently offered other options, but she would simply look away – resolute in her choice. As she approached her 9th birthday, she wrote in a school paper that she could “feel” her friend’s feelings. As a coach, I was fascinated that she knew this about herself – and had a language for it. She clearly was quietly observing. Today, …

How do we help our kids who fear failure? It’s a question many parents grapple with as they watch their youngsters grow up and try new things. Luckily, Dr. Michele Borba has written this guest post on how we can help girls overcome life’s early stumbles. Dr. Borba is a globally-recognized educational psychologist and parenting, bullying and character expert whose aim is to strengthen children’s empathy and resilience, and break the cycle of youth violence. She has delivered keynotes and workshops to over 1,000,000 participants and authored 24 books translated into 14 languages. Helping Kids Who Fear Failure One of the inevitable facts of life is that everyone makes mistakes. Granted, some mistakes are more significant than others and harder to get over, but they are a part of life. How individuals deal with those mistakes is significant to their self-esteem. Children with high self-esteem appear much better at coping with their errors. Watching children with positive self-perceptions deal with an error is always a magnificent sight. These children literally stand up, brush off their knees, and say, “Well, I blew it. What should I do differently next time?” They recognize that a mistake was made and admit the error. Most importantly, these children also develop a strategy to change the mistake and not do the same thing again. What they do, in reality, is leam from their errors. The process of making and learning from mistakes is an extremely valuable life skill because learning involves risking. Every time children risk, they will not always …

The country is burning. That’s the sentence that kept playing in my mind over and over again last night. A Black man had his neck crushed by a police officer, while three of his colleagues stood by and did NOTHING. Another story in the chapter upon chapter upon chapter of police brutality against a person of color. And now the country is burning…again. Enough. Action starts at home. If you’re not having talking with children about race and racial violence at home, now is the time. Below are several resources to discuss race and racial violence with children. And even if you’ve had a talk, these conversations need to be routine. As the folks over at EmbraceRace point out, “Race is a topic you should plan to revisit again and again in many different ways overtime.” Talking With Kids About Race and Racial Violence 10 Tips for Teaching and Talking to Kids About Race (EmbraceRace) How To Talk To Your Kids About Race, Racism And Police Violence (NPR WBUR) Talking With Children About Racism, Police Brutality and Protests (Aha! Parenting) White Kids Need to Start Using Their Privilege for Good — Here’s How to Teach Them (she knows) How to Talk to Your Kids About Race and Being Anti-Racist (Mommy Brain) Multicultural and Social Justice Books for Children (A Teaching for Change Project) How White Parents Can Talk To Their Kids About Race (NPR Life Kit) I’m Tired of Being Angry (The Mom Set) As a Black Parent, I need to Update ‘The Talk’ I Have With My Kids About Police (Los Angeles Times) Why …

It’s time for a special girl in your life to write her first resume. While you might see it as an exciting rite of passage; she feels flustered about how best to promote herself. Ruby Hunt, Director of Human Resources at the Dallas Museum of Art, understands applying to gain experience before having experience can feel daunting. This is why she put together the following list of tips to help girls show off their unique skills. What Every Girl Needs on Her First Resume Volunteer Efforts and Activities  Resumes that stand out include volunteer efforts and activities. Look around the community for volunteer programs. Is there a nonprofit that aligns with your girl’s passions? Many volunteer programs have training, which means she’ll learn new skills in addition to working with others. For example, the Dallas Museum of Art has a Teen Ambassador Program that emphasizes the value of teamwork, collaboration, and communication with peers. It also offers mentorship with DMA staff members. Additionally, participating in the school orchestra, performing in a ballet recital, joining a teen writing group or being part of organizations like Girls Scouts, all of these are valuable on a resume. Involvement shows initiative, passion, and commitment to supporting communities. Highlighting Achievements Make sure your girl is not shy about sharing her achievements. They show what is important to her and sets her apart from other applicants. For recruiters, past achievements can be a predictor of future performance. Examples of early resume achievements include: honor roll, promotion to leadership positions (such as student publication editor or …

Last month an article in the Journal of the American Medical Association made me stop in my tracks. It revealed one in 16 women said they were raped by force or coercion the first time they had sexual intercourse. As a parent of girls, I almost felt paralyzed as to what action I should take knowing this information. Thankfully I have the good fortune of being friends with Dr. Shanna Garza who specializes in adolescent medicine at the Girls to Women Health and Wellness practice in Dallas. Dr. Garza wrote the following guest post for Girls That Create about this important topic.  Talking Openly With Your Teenage Daughter About Sex Conversations with your teenage daughter about sexuality are built on years of open communication and emotional closeness. It’s important to start these discussions at younger ages and speak frankly about the physical mechanics of sex, use anatomically correct terms for genitals and talk about the physiology of conception. Before puberty starts, I recommend reviewing what changes girls’ bodies and minds will undergo. I’ve used the book The Care and Keeping of You 1 and The Care and Keeping of You 2: The Body Book for Older Girls, from American Girl with my own daughter and routinely recommend it to my patients. The Decision It’s beneficial for teens to consider the decision to have sex way before they put themselves in situations where it might happen. As with many potentially risky behaviors, I recommend teenagers consider if their actions reflect their values and who they want to be. We …

Girls That Create is excited to share a guest excerpt from Dr. Vanessa Lapointe’s book Parenting Right From the Start: Laying a Healthy Foundation in the Baby and Toddler Years. Dr. Lapointe is a mom, registered psychologist, parenting educator, best-selling author, international speaker, and a regularly invited media guest. Founder and director of The Wishing Star Lapointe Developmental Clinic, she has been supporting families and children for almost 20 years, and has previous experience in community mental health and the school system. The Importance of Development Awareness in a Fast-Paced World How many times have you sat in a restaurant and watched a child under the age of six receive a scolding for not sitting still during a meal? Or heard a three- or four-year-old admonished for not sharing? Or observed an eight-year-old punished for having a meltdown when asked to take out the garbage? Or witnessed a fourteen-year-old get grounded for freaking out when told they couldn’t hang with friends on a Friday evening? The parental response of punishment and consequence for such actions is not an uncommon occurrence in our world. Yet each one of those examples represents a child with an underdeveloped brain responding exactly as they should according to their stage of development. Many of us fall into the trap of expecting a child to absorb and adopt adult behaviour even though the human brain doesn’t fully mature until sometime in the mid to late twenties. That six-year-old fidgeting at the dinner table is incapable of sustained focus and attention; the three-year-old simply …

Nothing shuts down creativity faster than hunger. It’s easy to forget about eating when one is lost in a meaningful project. This also applies to kids, so it’s important to stave off “hangry” episodes by being prepared. Here are 10 easy snacks to help your child’s imagination. 10 Easy Snacks to Help Your Child’s Imagination Popcorn: We’ve come a long way from when popcorn was only available in the movie theatre or with a microwave. There are lots of single-serve bag options. Just make sure you’re paying attention to what’s been added. Simple ingredients and flavors made from real food are what you’re looking for (it is recommended children younger than four not be given popcorn). Dark Chocolate: The magic word is flavanol. A plant nutrient found in many foods and drinks (including dark chocolate), flavanols have been shown to improve blood flow to the brain and heart. Dark chocolate has more flavanols than milk chocolate. Frozen Grapes: A staple in our freezer during the hot Texas summers, but also great year-round. Put grapes in a ziplock bag and then toss them in the freezer. Your kiddo will love the sweet, cool taste while snacking on these. If your child is younger than four, cut the grapes in half. Granola Bars: So convenient, but you have to carefully scan all the ingredients in store-bought bars. Pay attention to how much saturated fat and sugar are in each bar (I try to never go over six grams of sugar, aka 1.5 teaspoons in a bar). This past summer I received …

It’s back-to-school shopping time, which means things could be said in the dressing room that will make your blood run cold. No, not expletive language, but your daughter harshly criticizing her body. Witnessing a child unleash physical self-deprecation will break any parent’s heart. How can you help your girl have a healthy body image?  It’s no secret consistently putting down one’s appearance harms social, physical, and emotional growth. What’s a caregiver to do in a world filled to the brim with doctored “perfect” images? For starters, understand that self-esteem and body image are two separate things. Self-esteem is how we think and feel about ourselves as a total package. Body image is how we think and feel about our body; it’s just one piece of self-esteem. Five Steps: How to Help Your Girl Have a Healthy Body Image 1. Know that how you personally view your body plays a role in how children see theirs Do you stand in front of the mirror and nitpick everything you don’t like about your body? Your child will think she should do the same…that this behavior is part of growing up. Do not body bash yourself or make negative statements about the weight and body size of others (including celebrities). In addition, tell your daughter what you love most about your body. Express gratitude for the things it makes possible. 2. Have a blunt talk about media’s depiction of girls and women, how advertising works, and the truth about altered images A “perfect” body does not exist. Neither do magical products …

Sometimes we love the Internet…sometimes we hate it. Regardless of our feelings, all of us need to be having multiple talks with our girls about Internet safety. Luckily many resources exist, including Google’s “Be Internet Awesome” curriculum. Its purpose is to help families develop online healthy habits through five key areas: Smart: Share With Care Alert: Don’t Fall for Fake Strong: Secure Your Secrets Kind: It’s Cool to Be Kind Brave: When in Doubt, Talk it Out Below are several pieces of “Be Internet Awesome” and other resources to aid you with raising well-informed and empowered Internet users. Google’s Family Guide and Tips  Packed with valuable stuff, the Family Guide and Tips (using the five areas mentioned above) encourages family discussion, learning, and thinking about maneuvering the online world together. Download the Family Guide Download Tips Google’s Wellbeing Family Guide Maintaining a balanced screen life can be hard. Past generations simply switched off their televisions. Today, disconnecting means parents and children are prioritizing the quality of time they spend together. The Digital Wellbeing Family Guide sparks dialogue about screens and what it means to balance online time with the physical world. Download the Digital Wellbeing Family Guide LifeKit Podcasts Internet and Screens Recently NPR produced a series of LifeKit podcasts about kids and screen time. Doctors and experts share science-backed advice with host Anya Kamenetz in these three excellent episodes: Can Screens Help Your Child’s Brain? 4 Tips To Get The Most From Kids’ Media 5 Strategies For Coping With Screen-Obsessed Kids Parents, Check Your Own …

Books based on real people pack an emotional punch. Not only do nonfiction stories help girls by teaching history and allowing them to see the world from different viewpoints, they provide role models and inspiration. My oldest recently came across the story of Virginia Hall in the book series Good Night Stories for Rebel Girls. She’s quite taken with the decorated American spy who thwarted the Nazis during World War II (I’m confident there’s a Virginia costume in our future). Girls need to have exposure to diverse people who have pursued dreams and overcome adversity. Through nonfiction stories they learn they’re not alone in their feelings and that others who came before them discovered ways to cope and respond to hardships. Luckily, we live in an age where there are as many tales as there are children’s interests. Is your girl concerned about the earth? Tell her about Rachel Carson, an environmentalist who wrote the book Silent Spring. Does she worry about making her voice heard? Suggest she explore the world of Sojourner Truth. Reading real stories encourages self-reflection, empathy, emotional intelligence, and offers a front seat to observing life lessons. They’re a win-win for anyone wanting to boost a child’s reading list. Activities To Do With Girls Have your child write on a sticky note the names of the people they’re reading about. Arrange the names in chronological order, along with the years the people lived. Take time to sit down with your child; ask her to share the stories she is reading and what she likes …